Healing in a Hostile Environment Sometimes, in life, we come across situations where we realize that nothing in that particular situation is in your control. It also may be so that we are stuck in that situation for a week, a month, or even several years. Unfortunately, that situation may be good, or bad for you, mentally. The type of situation can range from your home situation, academic, or university life, to your workplace. If you find that your current predicament is similar to this, congratulations. The first step on the journey to healing is realizing you’re not where you should be in life. In situations like this, we often overlook how badly this environment affects us mentally. We begin to absorb all of that negative energy and believe that you deserve all this negativity for it to be in your life. Unless your karma is coming back to bite you, this is not the case. Often times we are simply surrounded by emotionally immature people who project their own insecurities off on other people. Generally, on people they are threatened by. In an environment, or multiple environments, where we are constantly being put down or discouraged by the people around us (not to be confused with constructive criticism), it can be extremely difficult to separate thoughts that are true, from those that are based off of negative reinforcement. Toxic academic, workplace, and home environments are not situations that can be left easily, it may take several months or years in order for you to escape. Meanwhile, there are certain things that can help limit the negativity in your head, sort of an in one ear out the other approach. Remind yourself that this is not your whole life When we find ourselves in undesirable situations, we need to remind ourselves that we have so much more in life to look forward to. More people to meet that will love you, friends to make, amazing places to travel and visit; you will find the happiness that you have always searched for. This is a goal that we can work towards, sort of how the finish line is for a runner. This is just one obstacle you’re facing in the race of your life; you will overcome this as you have many times before. Accept that you may be different from the people around you, and that’s okay Imagine how unbelievably boring our world would be if everyone was exactly the same; no nuances or quirks that make all of us different from one another. Finding people that resonate with you in life is rare, given that there are over 8 billion of us and it’s highly unlikely for us to meet all of them in our minuscule lifetime. However, simply giving up is not the solution. Times of loneliness are often fruitful as you end up discovering more about yourself than you would with other people. Use this time for further self-discovery. Comparison is the thief of joy The most underrated but important reminder. All of our lives are different; the timing of certain events in our lives, varies. For example, everyone around you, may be walking a certain path; deviating from the flock and doing your own thing, may often work out in your favor. In the situation or environment that you may be stuck in, a lot of people around you may be doing a lot better than you for the time being. It will bug you if you truly know your potential, however, you are putting in the majority of your energy towards healing and recovering from all the negativity around you. It is unbelievably draining and leaves very little energy left for productive work. Remember that everyone’s timeline during life looks different, and comparison will only make you feel lesser than. Bad days don’t have to be bad days/Leave it at the door Everyone has bad days, some more than others, but bad days are just that. Bad DAYS; not weeks, or months. Not even a full day. Something bad happened, fine; Reset, Recharge, and move onto the next best thing. Remind yourself to change your scenery and forget about it as soon as you're out of that situation. It is difficult, but dwelling on it is like pressing on a wound; it will only hurt more. You don’t need an apology to move on Waiting for an apology from the people that hurt you, is like waiting for a train that will never reach its destination. A waste of time. No one in your life holds a permanent position; people are bound to come and go but you control the door. Let them in and let them go, as necessary. Make decisions that favor you too sometimes. People that have lived their whole lives to please others find this impossible, but there comes a time when you realize you can’t be a doormat your whole life, something needs to change. Set boundaries and learn to say no If something makes you uncomfortable, listen to your gut. Setting specific boundaries allows the people around. The strongest indicator of our boundaries is our emotional state. Boundaries are never to be taken personally, it is less likely about you and more about the person setting the boundaries. Setting boundaries also helps you feel more in control of your life. It is also important to remember that not everyone has to like you; you can do everything right and still make some enemies along the way. All in all, remember that this situation is a very small proportion of your life, you have so much more to look forward to. Although some things may be out of your control. You control your response to those situations; Unwind from the negativity by binging your favorite show, reading, writing, making art, journaling, or spending some time with your friends; whatever helps you forget about it. Keep reminding yourself that things will get better; keep working towards making them better and hopefully, the cards will be in your favor. Don’t lose hope.
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